Blake and I went to Dr. Lee this morning and it was super! … Maybe I’ll write on that another day.
Right now, I need to share some growth.
Recently, I’ve come to the conclusion that things in my marriage (and probably life in general) can go much smoother with less heartache if I just TELL Blake what I’m EXPECTING. (Gasp)
Shouldn’t he already know?!?!?! Don’t knights in shining armor just KNOW the right thing to say/think/feel when it comes to their women???
Reality says: No.
The thing I never realized is, telling someone what you want takes SO much effort. First, you have to think, yourself, about what you want. This includes going through scenarios in your head of what you DON’T want, which also takes effort. (Kind of like writing this post right now. So. Much. Effort. – I’m not feeling well.) Thinking…ahhh..so much effort.
Then, you have to say it OUT LOUD. You have to hear how it sounds, coming out of your mouth, what you WANT. Oh God. It sounds selfish to me. If my man could just read my mind, I could act all surprised like, “Oh HONEY! How did you know??”
Plus, if you’re so in love, can’t you read each other’s minds??
If we went on the Newly Wed show, we would lose, for SURE.
When I was a child, any time I ever sat on Santa’s lap and he asked me, “What do you want for Christmas?” my answer was always, “I don’t know.” (Sorry about that Santa, that required some thinking on your part!) My terrible decision making skills are an honest trait.
So this week, I’ve tried to be upfront about my expectations. It’s a hard thing to do, changing your habits.
The drive to Dr. Lee’s office is 52 minutes without traffic, but at 8:00am on a Thursday, add another hour. Note: I have a very small bladder. I kept complaining about how badly I needed to pee, and he KNEW how excited I was about attending this appointment with him. I mean hell – I did make the appointment, and spent weeks hyping it up! So in my mind, I see the scenario of us getting there, me going to the restroom, and Dr. Lee coming to take Blake back while I’m gone. *Panic. This cannot happen.* In this theory, I assumed Blake would ask him to wait for my return first. But then! I remembered, if I don’t tell him what I expect, I run the risk of being disappointed. Thankfully, I worked up the courage to address this with him.
Me: Blake, I know I need to tell you my expectations. So here’s what I’m expecting: If we get there, and they come and get you while I’m in the restroom, PLEASE don’t go in without me.
Blake: Okay. Thank you for telling me that. I wouldn’t have thought about that. Thank you.
Wow. He really wouldn’t have waited?! Thank God I’m spelling things out!
We ended up not having to face that scenario, but we would have been ready had it happened!
Just now, I texted Blake.
Me: My throat hurts. 😦
Me: I need soup.
*I assumed this typed-out expectation was enough, and that the expected response would come, but apparently not.*
Me: Expectation: sympathy
Blake: I’m so sorry honey! Is there anything I can do for you?
Me: Yes! Good job. Hugs.
Didn’t I say “soup”?
Sometimes, M-E-N J-U-S-T N-E-E-D E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G S-P-E-L-L-E-D O-U-T.
I’m thinking, maybe after several times of doing this, he’ll start to get it on his own?
Then again, I shouldn’t count on it.
Men, men, men, men…